My Little Prayer Warrior

My sweet co-worker, Cassie, has been diagnosed with lung cancer. She is SO young and vibrant, was our teacher of the year last year, her students and their parents LOVE her and she is a dream to work with! This has been one of those situations in my lifetime where I have found myself over and over asking God, "WHY?" and "HOW?".   It just hits so close to home when the person is your age or younger.  I have been praying continuously for her and her family. I would love to ask you to pray as well. God has already answered so many prayers in regards to her situation, and I know that He is "Mighty to Save" and the ultimate HEALER and can perform a miracle of all miracles on her behalf. Will you please pray for her?   I know she would be so grateful...

My sweet Anna Claire has such a spunky personality, full of HILARIOUS-ness that has kept us in stitches for these last several years, and because of that "spunk" I often overlook the tenderness of her precious heart. God is doing a work in her, shaping her into the amazing woman I know she will become. She hasn't fully given her life to Christ, by asking Him into her heart, but I know she is so very close to fully grasping life's most amazing reward...becoming a follower of Jesus Christ. She says sweet, sincere prayers at night and has the most theological, grown up conversations with me sometimes. She really grasps the phrase from one of my favorite songs "Break my heart for what breaks YOURS". She shared this story (below) with my Mom, so it is NOT verbatim, and I am sure I will mess up some of the details, and leave something out, but I had to record it to remind her someday that God began a stirring in her heart at such a young age. She teaches me more than she knows... (updated since clarifying the story with Nana)

Anna Claire: Nana, did you know that Mrs. Cassie, Mommy's friend and a teacher at our school has cancer?

My Mom: Yes, sweetie, I am sad about that.  A lot of people are praying for her.
A.C.:  Yeah, I've been praying and fasting about it.

Nana: What do you mean fasting?

A.C.:  Well when you fast and pray God hears your prayers better.  Like instead of eating 3 crackers, ou just eat one and pray when you would have eaten the other two.

Nana:  Where did you learn about that?

A.C.: The preacher.  A lot of people don't listen to the preacher, but I did.  AND...
In honor of my Mom, to pray for Mrs. Cassie, I've started a prayer group on the playground at recess with 7 girls. We are praying for various people and animals that are sick. We are asking God to heal them. My friend was upset because one of her tadpoles ate the other tadpole's leg and so we are praying for it to grow back.  And now they are frogs and one of the frogs is just stunning.  Nana, what does stunning mean?

Just LOVE her innocent child-like faith...Oh Lord, let her never lose sight of YOU...

Parties Make my heart happy...

I'm a planner  OCD, and I LOVE a fun theme to swirl my thoughts around!  Anna Claire turns 7 in May and Barrett will be 1 in July and I've already picked their FUN party themes!  I mostly chose them early, so I don't have to rush around last minute ans so I can take my time being creative and spreading out the cost over several months.  I have been "pinning" many ideas on Pinterest, but I also welcome any fun things you find out there as well!  I need to collect some old ties, and top hats for Barrett's so let me know if you can spare anything!  I'm excited...this gives me a creative outlet when I feel like my days are about grading papers, changing diapers, assisting in homework and doing laundry.

  YAY for birthdays!  I love making my kids feel special!

Anna Claire will have a SMALL Rainbow Sleepover this year with a couple of friends...

Picture from Homemade by Jill blog

For the Little Mister...a small gathering of family & friends...a MUSTACHE BASH!!! 

Can't you see my roly poly buddy with a hilarious 'STACHE? 

Can't wait!

Picture from SWANKY PRESS

My BONUS Daughter

Today Kelly's Korner is doing a link-up for step-parents. I can totally jump in on that topic! Do I think I have it down? NO WAY! But, I am hoping to gain wisdom from some of these ladies that also are part of this step-parenting world.

This is Shelby Elizabeth. I prefer to call her my "BONUS daughter". She likes that. She is a beautiful, special and delightful girl...one who has taught me more about myself (good, bad and ugly) than I ever dreamed.

When Brad and I met, I knew he had a daughter.  When I decided I loved Brad, I agreed to love Shelby too...Heart AND Soul.  I have a daughter, so I didn't know how in the world I would feel when I became a "step-mom" to another one. I'm going to be really honest right now and say...THIS IS HARD STUFF Y'ALL. Our situation is FAR from the norm, so we've had to create our own normal.

We are the true YOURS, MINE and OURS situation. Shelby is Brad's, Anna Claire is mine, and Barrett is ours.  But we are The Duff's...TEAM DUFF...a FAMILY in every sense of the word possible. Shelby isn't with us full time, Anna Claire and Barrett are, so it creates an odd family dynamic at times.  Brad is such a great Daddy to all three.  He takes Shelby to dinner once a week so that they can have alone time.  It is THEIR time...uninterrupted and although at first I had a hard time understanding why they just HAD to have that time together, now I understand it and see its benefits.  Shelby visits us on the 2nd and 4th weekend of each month and utimately it is HER choice when she comes over.  We make sure and stress this to her often that we ALWAYS want her, but we do understand that she may have something fun come up that she'd rather be a part of.  My daughter, Anna Claire,  is with us almost full time, aside from 2-3 day visits a month with her Dad, so I don't consider her situation that quite as difficult to handle.  Anna Claire and Shelby love eachother (most of the time) just like real sisters do!

The hardest parts have been building trust with Shelby.  It is up to me to show her who I am when she is with ME, and let HER realize that I am a genuine, good person and mom, and that I really do love her.  When asked about her mother, even though she and I don't speak very often, I say all the time that her mother has to have some wonderful qualities for two reasons...one because my husband did love her at one time and I think he is pretty great, and two Shelby is such a sweetheart!  I pray that both of her sets of parents continue to focus on Shelby's well-being!

 Another hard part is fitting in enough FUN, but living a realistic life on the weekends we have her.  Those who know me know that I am a little OCD and have it all mapped out at times.  Sometimes to a fault...so "letting go" of the little things has been very hard for me at times.  I want her to be a part of so much, but she can't always be...but when she's not there she is ALWAYS in our conversations, our prayers and our hearts.

Do I have all the answers...no.  Is it a "picture perfect" life...NO.  Is it what I thought I'd be doing at 31 years old...NO, but God is teaching me to be patient...give HIM the control and show his love to all three of these little lives that are entrusted to me, even if one of them is part-time.

The advice I can give is to excercise PATIENCE, let go of the things that don't really matter (which is a lot to kids), don't question your husband's loyalty to his child (I've never done this...ha!), don't expect things to be perfect (nope...not me!), make memories when you can, but don't be upset when your time with your step-child(ren) wasn't picture perfect, pray...PRAY...PRAY!!!, and make decisions TOGETHER.  Also keep in mind that the child is the one that really has the stress.  They have to go back and forth, juggle two SETS of parents and several different sets of grandparents, family members, etc.  Check in with them often to see how THEY are feeling and make sure you do not speak ugly about their other home.  Also, realize that their two homes may be VERY different , so don't expect them to fall right in line with the way you live each time they come over...give them GRACE.

I want nothing more than to leave a Christ-like legacy for my children, something that changes the course of our families' future...no more divorce...no more broken homes...a family that honors Christ and shows his love to others...even if one of those children is my "Bonus daughter".